The Write Stuff: The Writing Resolutions You’ll Break by February

Ah, the New Year is about to dawn upon us, and you know what that means—time to make resolutions we’ll probably break before January is even half-way through.

And for us scribblers, the literary-minded folks who dream in paragraphs and wield words like magic wands, it’s no different. Yes, it’s time for those writing resolutions! Cue the dramatic music.

Resolution #1: Write Every Day

Ah, the classic! The pinnacle of all writing resolutions. The Everest of literary commitments. The intention to jot down words religiously, every single day, rain or shine, even if it’s just a haiku about your cat.

In reality: By January 5th, life sneaks in, distractions multiply like bunnies, and suddenly, your commitment to daily writing morphs into binge-watching documentaries on octopi.

Resolution #2: Finish that Novel

That half-finished manuscript gathering dust in the digital drawer? This year, you’re going to conquer it like a valiant knight rescuing a damsel in distress. You vow to type ‘The End’ and feel like a literary genius.

Reality check: You spend more time choosing the perfect writing playlist and creating character Pinterest boards than actually advancing the plot. By March, your characters are staging a revolt, demanding a conclusion, and you’re stuck rewriting Chapter One.

Resolution #3: Limit Social Media Distractions

This year, you solemnly swear to resist the siren call of Twitter debates (it will never, ever be X), Instagram stories and Reddit threads. You’ll turn off notifications, ignore FOMO, and channel your inner hermit writer.

Reality check: Three minutes into a writing session, your fingers twitch towards your phone like it’s magnetised. Suddenly, you’re an expert in conspiracy theories, celebrity gossip and the mating habits of penguins. Well, that escalated quickly.

Resolution #4: Attend Writing Workshops and Conferences

You promise yourself this is the year you’ll mingle with fellow writers, absorb wisdom from seasoned authors, and immerse yourself in the hallowed halls of literary events.

Reality check: You spend an exorbitant amount on registration fees, only to watch the workshops from the comfort of your trackie bottoms via glitchy livestreams. By the time you unmute your mic to ask a question, the conference is wrapping up.

Resolution #5: Embrace Rejection Like a Boss

You’re ready to collect rejection letters like Pokémon cards! Each ‘no’ will fuel your determination until your ‘yes’ arrives. You’ll plaster your walls with rejection slips, turning them into a mosaic of writerly resilience.

Reality Check: After receiving the first rejection, you’re an emotional wreck, questioning every life choice. You consider a career as a coconut milk farmer in Bali because rejection hurts less when you’re sipping a piña colada on a tropical beach.

In conclusion, dear readers, these resolutions are made to be broken, recycled, and gently mocked. But fear not! In the chaos of unfulfilled promises, amidst the pile of crumpled drafts and abandoned notebooks, lies the joy of storytelling.

So, let’s raise our champagne glasses to another year of improbable writing resolutions! Here’s to the creative chaos and the beautifully messy journey of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).

Happy New Year, and may your plot bunnies multiply like… well, plot bunnies!