Book Launch Monday: Damp Squib Diaries

And so, another book launched into the wild! If you missed it, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Frankly, I almost missed it myself. But a massive thank you (truly, truly) to the five of you who bought my new book on launch day. You know who you are. You’re the real VIPs.

Twelve novels in, and you’d think I’d have cracked the code for successful book launches and marketing by now. But no, I am living proof that practice does not necessarily make perfect—sometimes it just makes you more creative at making the same mistakes in ever more elaborate ways.

Case in point:

• Advanced reviews? Who needs ‘em! (Apparently, everyone except me.)
• Social media hype? I posted a few times, panicked I was being annoying and then ghosted my own book.
• Amazon ads? I ran a campaign so uninspiring, even Amazon (Amazon!) refused to spend my money.

Meanwhile, there is a tiny glimmer of hope. My Highland Books are doing a wee turn, thanks to Vinci Books working their Facebook magic. Sales are ticking up, and for the past two months, I’ve earned more in royalties than is being spent on ads. If that isn’t the modern publishing dream, I don’t know what is.

TikTok: My Digital Witness Protection Programme

At the start of 2025, I swore—swore—I would never set foot on TikTok. (“It’s for youngsters! I’m too old! “My teeth aren’t good enough!”* What if someone I know sees me?”) Cut to September, and here I am, popping up on BookTok like an unhinged librarian on a sugar rush, nervously checking over my shoulder in case someone from work is lurking behind the For You page.

Apparently, all the BookTok gurus recommend posting two to four times a day during your “growth phase”. These people are either much more interesting than I am or they have a team of clones. The thought of popping up on anyone’s feed multiple times a day is frankly horrifying. No one wants to hear from me more than once a day—if that. And to be honest, some days I barely want to hear from myself.

So far, my TikTok stats are, let’s say, “selective”—twenty-five followers, 85 likes, four comments and no, as far as I can work out, resultant book sales. Still, the process is great fun. There’s something delightful about being the writer, director, actor, lighting crew and camera person in my own little videos. Mini-stories, a sprinkle of Scottish chaos, and enough filters to make me look a lot younger.

Of course, the nightmare did eventually happen. A friend said she’d seen one of my videos. I replied, “I’m amazed you recognised me—I touched myself up so much.” Only after saying it did I realise what that sounded like, and no, I do not have an OnlyFans account. (Though, frankly, at this stage, it might be a more lucrative career move.)

For science, I’m now reposting these videos to YouTube Shorts. Curiously, they’ve fared much better there—over 3,000 views for a couple of videos, and even a handful of comments. Perhaps my future is on YouTube, not TikTok. Or it copuld be explaining to concerned relatives that I’m not, in fact, moonlighting on adult platforms.

Onwards to Arrochar (for “Content”)

Today, I’m off to Arrochar, which those of you familiar with my Highland books will know as the real-life inspiration for Lochalshie. Why? Because (a) it’s a nice day, and (b) I need “content”. That’s what successful authorpreneurs do, right? Wander about scenic Scottish villages with a phone, chasing cats and sheep and the ever-elusive viral moment.

Anyway, I’m back to writing another Highland book—since, let’s face it, that’s where the sales are. Will I master the art of the book launch by the time I publish my thirteenth? Odds are slim. But hope springs eternal (unlike Amazon ad budgets).

Thanks for sticking around. And to the Magnificent Five—your signed mugs are in the post. (Joking. Do you know how much postage costs these days?)

Emma “Damp Squib, Not On OnlyFans (Yet)” Baird

*How naïve of me… there’s a tool on TikTok for teeth whitening.

You could join the Fab Five Forever, Maybe buyers by clicking the button below:

And here’s a link to a video I uploaded onto YouTube (content trigger warning – it contains scenes book lovers might find distressing).